Earlier this month, I commented that no animal on earth
scares me or bothers me more than spiders ... but on the opposite side of that
coin, one of my favorite animals that I personally adore are snakes. Ever sense I was a little kid, I loved snakes, and I even had snakes for pets. Of all the different snakes on the planet, it was the anaconda that I was the most
obsessed with. Back then, anaconda’s stood out among snakes just like how the
T-Rex always stands out as the coolest dinosaur. When the 1997 horror adventure
movie “Anaconda” came out, you can
bet I was excited to see it. I was probably six or seven years old at the time,
but that didn’t stop me from seeing it. I actually remember my parents
getting very concerned that the film might be too disturbing or scary, but I
loved every second of it. This was actually one of the very first horror movie
experiences I ever had in my life, so I can’t help but look back on it while
wearing the nostalgia goggles. Still, how has it aged over the years ... is it really
any good? To be very straight forward, the answer is no ... in fact you could call
this movie the pore mans version of “Jaws” ... but it is still a lot of fun to watch, and a small, yet classic product of the
90’s?
The movie
begins with scrolling text all “Texas
Chainsaw Massacre” style, as it tries to put you in the mindset that what
you’re about to see is based on real events revolving around people attacked by
giant snakes. That tone is immediately shot in the foot with the opening snake
attack scene, in which an anaconda attacks a boat house. This scene is incredibly
cheesy and over the top, but at least they keep the snake off screen during this
attack, that way it can still surprise us later. Our real adventure begins in
the Amazon, with a film crew who are sailing down the river in search for a mysterious
tribe, and all in hopes to shoot a documentary revolving around their culture. However,
they find themselves taking on an unexpected passenger, who claims to know the
rivers well, and offers to help guide them on their expedition. In truth, this
mysterious man is actually a snake hunter, and leads the boat off-course in
hopes to hunt down a massive, and deadly anaconda. Passengers are suddenly
disappearing, and the river seems to take one nasty turn after another. The
film crew soon find themselves up the Amazon River without a paddle, are at the mercy of an unstable poacher, and an even more dangerous river monster
that won’t hesitate to make meals out of them.
I have to say,
for a cheap “B” grade monster movie, it actually has a respectable cast of
talented actors, including Jennifer Lopez, Ice Cube, Jon Voight, Owen Wilson, Danny
Trejo and Jonathan Hyde. All the characters are your typical, cardboard cut-out’s you’d expect from a film like this, but the cast actually makes them
salvageable.
Jennifer Lopez is our star, and I have to say, she holds herself very well in this film, and has a fairly captivating screen presence. Now, I’m not just saying that just because she’s incredibly beautiful (which she certainly is), but for all that she was given to work with, she looks totally committed to the role, and dose everything in her power to deliver a believable performance. Obviously not Oscar worthy, but still good considering what little she had to work with, and I love that her character manages to stay strong without becoming your typical, over the top, bad ass action star. This was also at the peak of Jennifer Lopez's acting career, when she was making a credible name for herself, and before staring in disposable romantic comedies like 2001's "The Wedding Planner". Jonathan Hyde plays a typical cranky rich guy, but I grew up with the
actor in so many films from the 90’s, like “Jumanji”,
“Titanic”, “The Mummy”, and it’s always a treat to have him in a film. He also has some of the best lines, like when he knocks-out the bad guy with a golf club and says ... "Ass Hole-in-one!" Owen Wilson is very restrained as the comedic relief turned Judas, as he sides
with the villain at the cost of his friends. Eric Stoltz is okay as a victimized boy friend, but isn't given much time to leave an impression ... poor guy. He at least went on to act in some decent films, like 2000's "Almost Famous". Ice Cube plays the typical “cool
tough guy”, and to be fair, he actually has his cool moments, and stands out
when he’s on screen. This was actually a good warm-up point in his career, before acting in quality action films like 1999's "Three Kings".
Of course the
star who completely steels the show is Jon Voight as the films generic evil
hunter, who’s obsessed with capturing the snake. I swear, Jon Voight is having
the time of his life in this role as a scary snake hunter, and he’s just
savoring every juicy moment of the film. You can tell, he knows what kind of
film this is, he knows how clichéd his character is, and he’s just going to
take the role and run with it. While his performance is enjoyably over-the-top,
he does still shine in some scary moments. Now, in all seriousness, Jon Voight
is a very respectable actor, and has turned in some truly Oscar worthy
performances in his carrier. If fact, as far back as 1978 he won the best actor Oscar for his leading role in "Coming Home". Yet, that only makes it all the more fun to see him
go so over-the-top in this film. For the actor, he must have been treating it like
a mini vacation away from all the quality films he’s used to staring in. Funny enough, his attempts to return to quality films resulted in movies like 2001's "Pearl Harbor", which was honestly just as corny ... although Jon Voight did make for a dignified Pres. Roosevelt.
With all the
characters addressed, lets finally talk about the main event, and that’s the movies giant snake. It’s not clear how many different anacondas attack our
hero’s, because we see the characters kill more than one, but regardless, I’ve
often regarded the anaconda in this film as a memorable movie monster in its
own right ... maybe not on par with the shark from "Jaws", but still an icon among B-Monster movies. It goes without saying, but this is a
monster movie, and it will depict anacondas as anything but realistic. Well,
that’s what it’s supposed to be like ... yet so many people feel the need to point
out the obvious. While giant snakes are real, they’d never do any of the
things depicted in this film. Come on guys ... it’s a monster movie, it’s supposed
to be over-the-top, and for whatever it’s worth, the goofy scenes are actually kind of subtle when compared to what other monster movies have done. The
creature effects are all really good, but they’re not class art either. There’s
some serviceable CGI, but for the most part the snake is a mechanical puppet ... which looks awesome! Much like the Giant ants from the 50’s classic “Them!”, or even the shark from "Jaws", the monster doesn’t look real, and yet it’s
still a spectacle whenever it’s on screen. Plus, it’s just really nice to have
something practical on the set with the actors, as opposed to a monster that only exists
in a computer.
The music is
all good, and the cinematography is excellent. I especially love all the POV
shots that put you in the snakes perspective. There are even some beautiful
locations, which also allow for some creative action scenes. There’s a moment
when our hero’s are stuck at a waterfall, and it’s the perfect setting for a big
action set-piece with our deadly river beast. There’s also a fine variety of
different snake attacks, as we never see the same kind of action scene twice, and
the film never gives us too much of a good thing, it’s just the right amount.
Plus, the pacing in this movie is terrific, and manages to stay entertaining
even without the big snake. The river itself is a very exciting, mysterious, and
alienating place ... with ominous totem poles, a wooden-wall full of snakes
blocking their path, and there’s one scene involving a scuba diver and a poisonous
wasp that was probably the most terrifying moment of the whole film. Some of
the horror elements work, while others are kind of laughable. The one scene that
always stood out the most to me was this goofy underwater shot of the snake swimming,
and we can see the imprint of a human body inside ... which should have been scary
but it looks ridiculous.
The adventure builds
to a thrilling climax, in which our last surviving hero’s get captured by the
hunter, and are used as bait to lour the anaconda into a massive boat house, where the final battle takes place. The villain gets a very memorable death, as
he’s eaten alive ... with a P.O.V shot of him getting swallowed ... then vomited up, and finally his corps gives a little wink.
Then the snake chases our hero’s though-out the complex, up a smoke stack,
blown sky high, and then Ice Cube delivers the finishing blow. Its great stuff, and probably one of the best finales to any animal attack movie I’ve ever
seen.
Before I wrap up this review, let’s take
a quick look at all the different sequels, crossovers and rip-offs. In 2004 there was
“Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood
Orchid”, which was the only “Anaconda”
sequel to be released in the theater. When I was younger, I loved this sequel
and found it to be every bit as fun, if not better then the first. However, it
hasn’t aged well with me at all, it lacks all the charm of its predecessor, the
effects are far worse, and it just takes itself much too seriously.
Then there
was “Anaconda 3: Offspring” and “Anacondas: Trail of Blood” which were
released on the Sci-Fi channel, but they looked like garbage, so I never
bothered to watch either of them. Then in 2015 there was a crossover movie titled “Lake Placid vs. Anaconda”, which was also released on the Sci-Fi channel, once again I haven’t seen. It’ll probably be stupid, but I might just check it out for curiosity sake, and because when I was a kid,
I always wanted to see the Anaconda meet the Lack Placid crocodile. After the box office
success of “Anaconda”, there were
several other rip-off movies that tried to bank on the concept of a giant
snake. There was the “Boa” film
series, the “Python” film series, and both of which had crossovers of their own. Why can’t we have snake attack
movies with normal sized snakes, that might actually be scarier. In fact, I
remember seeing a movie called “Silent
Predators” back in 1999, which involved rattle snakes invading a neighborhood
area, and that was actually kind of frightening. Then of course there was “Snakes on a Plane” in 2007, which was
every bit a product of its time just like “Anaconda”,
and while it was slightly entertaining, it just didn’t have the same B monster
movie enjoyment that “Anaconda”
mastered so perfectly.
On that note, what’s my final verdict of the
1997 picture “Anaconda”? Personally, I think its outstanding B-movie trash. You won’t get much more out of this film then a simple dumb monster movie about a killer snake, but that’s all
still very fun if you go in with a mind set for cheesy, enjoyable, popcorn
entertainment. To be honest, I think "Anaconda" has held-up better then most disposable killer animal movies. It offers me just enough action, eye candy, and monster fun to
make it worth re-watching in a span of maybe six or seven years ... so, take it for
what it’s worth. It's no "Jaws", but for a cheesy, fun monster movie ... I still enjoy it.
Thanks for reading my review of 1997's B-List Horror movie “Anaconda” ... and continue to enjoy the movies you Love!
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