Star Wars 2: Attack of the Clones (2002) (Movie Review)

    So, my last review of “Star Wars 1: The Phantom Menace” was a mixed bag, but positive overall. Now it’s time to talk about “Star Wars 2: Attack of the Clones”, and this is a horse of a different color. On the one hand, this film offers a lot more entertainment and comes closer in parts to what a fun Star Wars movie should be like, but unfortunately, the select issues I have with this film keep it just beneath the other films in the franchise. I really wish I could say that "Attack of the Clones” isn’t that bad, or that it's underrated, but it’s only gotten weaker with age, and the problems are so obvious that I just can’t decide if it’s simply average, or a genuinely bad instalment. I will absolutely give credit where it's do, as this film certainly has it's strengths, but will that be enough to save a mostly weaker film in the franchise ... lets find out.   

      The movie is set ten years after the events of the last film, and things haven’t been going too well. Turns out that the galactic government is all messed up, and several factions are breaking away to join the evil trade federation in order create a super army of battle droids, and war machines that will force republic planets to bow to any of their demands. What are their demands, what do they hope to gain ... honesty, they don’t go into much more detail about it. 

Anyway, the former queen Padme Amidala, is taking a lot of action against this movement, which leads to the bad guys recruiting an armored assassin named Jango Fett to silence her once and for all. The threat to her life then calls our two Jedi hero’s Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker to solve the problem. Anakin is given the task to protector her, while Obi-Wan goes on an investigation, which leads to the discovery of a secret clone army. The film then falls into a very repetitive pattern as we constantly cut back and forth between Anakin and Padme in a relationship, while Obi-Wan unravels the mysteries of this plot.     

     Now, in my review of “The Empire Strikes Back”, I commented that the writing got stuck in a loop, where we kept bouncing between three groups of characters, but it was still an engaging experience, and the formula never hurt the pacing of the film. Well guise what, this movie by contrast doesn't have the same forward-momentum, and it takes at least an hour for me to really get into the experience. The first half is very "one-note", as it makes me feel trapped in this endless loop, and nothing feels at stake. Instead of setting up a conflict between heroes and villains with either humanity or tension, this movie just explains the situation. Please don’t get the impression that I find this movie boring just because it has a lot of dialog heavy scenes. On the contrary, I could watch the characters from “Game of Thrones” talk about politics all day long, and that would be just as exciting as watching a strait forward action picture. The problem with this movie is that there’s just nothing of intrigue, and its repetitive pattern of jumping back and forth between two irrelevant plot lines just gets tedious very fast.     

    I’m also annoyed that the Force is less of a spiritual element and more of an excuse for characters to display super powers. 

Even though it’s awesome to see the Jedi in battle, the writers seem to have forgotten about the spiritual elements that made the force so meaningful in early films. It’s also annoying that the Jedi are mostly just characters to be stuck in the background with nothing to say or do. Samuel L Jackson at least gets to shine as Mace Windu, who stands out with an all-around cool factor, and a signature purple lightsaber. 

C-3PO and R2-D2 get a little more involvement in this film, and have their own fun little mini adventures that definitely brings back fond memories of the original series. Yoda is great as always, and thankfully he has a lot more to do in this film. While his new CGI makeover isn’t as good as the original puppet, I always felt this look fit within the prequel films, and he dose at least shine in some cool action scenes. Obi-Wan Kenobi is mostly lead by the nose from one plot point to the next with no real character growth to speak of, but Ewan Mcgregor is fantastic in the role. He has the energy and strength of a young warrior, but the same wisdom and charisma of his older self is definitely present. Obi-Wan also shines in some of the action, especially this one scene of him leaping through a glass window to catch an enemy droid. He also has the funniest lines in the film, like when he refers to a failed rescue attempt as a "good job", and I've always loved this little moment when he uses the force to get a drug addict to "re-think his life". The comedic moments in general aren’t that bad, but there's some goofy content, like a 50's dinner, and some cringe lines.

    Adding to the laundry list of disappointments are the villains, who just aren’t given enough involvement. The main antagonist of the movie is called Count Dooku, who’s actually a really cool villain, despite his stupid name. Unfortunately, the movie just doesn’t take advantage of him, and worse, this guy even had more potential then Darth Maul did in the previous movie. We’re told that he was once a proud Jedi master who fell from grace due to mysterious circumstances. We also learn that he taught Qui Gon Jinn, the Jedi who died in the last film, and he’s also revealed to be Yoda’s former apprentice. Holly cow, with a set up like that, this guy could have been the next Darth Vader, but we never get a clear picture of his back story, and he just isn’t present enough in the film to leave an impression. In the plus column, he’s played by Christopher Lee, my favorite villain actor of all time, and he absolutely shines whenever he's on screen.  

 

     Now despite being one of the weaker installments in the Star Wars film series, I can at least give this movie a lot of credit for making the bounty hunter Jango Fett a main character. This is really what Boba Fett should have been, because while Jango certainly looks cool in his armored suit, he’s actually more than just a cool looking background character. This guy actually contributes to the plot, interacts with the hero’s, and he’s even present in the film more than the actual main antagonist. 

Yeah, Count Dooku doesn’t show up until the 1 hour 30 min mark, but Jango is there from the beginning, he stays till the end, and half the time he feels like the main villain of the film. Plus, he has some awesome action scenes. The fight between he and Obi-Wan on the rainy platform is one of the coolest duels in the entire series, and it’s just a real treat to finally see a non-Jedi hold his own against a Jedi master. I also like that Jango Fett offers a subtle touch of hummer when he twirls his gun like a cowboy. My only problem with Jango is that while he’s functional in the plot, he’s still nothing more than a cool looking obstacle for our hero’s to face, and he could have been a little more than that. There’s a scene when Jango and Obi-Wan have a conversation, and it’s the perfect opportunity for an exciting hero/ villain talk. I mean these two are both warriors from opposite backgrounds, there’s so much they can discus, maybe even relate to, but their conversation is unfortunately more of the same boring exposition rambling that just waists time, and adds nothing to either of the characters.  

    Our two main leads unfortunately are also a huge problem that way this movie down big time. Padme Amidala is about as boring and dull as female leads get, and not even her gallery of attractive clothing can help. 

Granted, I like Natalie Portman, and she’s proven to be a very talented actress in other films, but she’s given nothing to work with here. As a result, her performance sadly comes off as blank and lifeless, most likely due to bad direction. Her relationship with Anakin is just as empty and lifeless. Both characters have zero chemistry, most of Anakin’s remarks to her are more rood then witty, and their conversations are terrible. It never once makes any sense why these two are falling in love in the first place, and it never feels like two people genuinely forming a relation. The only time I felt anything between these two is a brief moment in which Anakin is about to journey somewhere very dangerous, and their good-bye is displayed through the outlines of their shadows against a wall. That was a beautiful visual, and highlighted how powerful the rest of this relation could have been, if it were as subtle as that one effective image. I'll also give credit to John Williams romantic music track titled "Across the Universe", which is actually very good. It captures the melody of a classic romance picture and infuses it with the size and spectacle of "Star Wars".       

  

     Now we come to the biggest problem of the whole trilogy, and that is Anakin Skywalker himself. I can’t even express in words how much I'm annoyed by this character, but let’s start by quickly addressing what he does in this film. He whines non-stop, treats everyone like cabbage, advocates for a dictatorship, expresses disdain for all of his pears, including his own master, makes blatantly traderious remarks, and even commits mass murder. Oh, and by the way, this is our lead hero, the guy where supposed to be cheering for. Obviously, we know this guy is going to become Darth Vader, but the original trilogy built him up as this great man who did noble things, and his fall from grace was a huge shock. There is nothing heroic and honorable about this character, he’s just evil before he becomes a villain, and it’s impossible for me to care about what happens to him. 

    Let’s finally address the white elephant in the room. If you’ve seen the movie, you know there eventually comes a moment in which Anakin’s mother dies after getting kidnapped by a group of desert people, to which Anakin responds to by committing mass genocide. No joke, he murders everyone in this camp ground, including all the woman and innocent children. Then he confesses all of this to his girl friend Padme, to which she responds by saying “Oh, we all get a little angry sometimes”, and then at the end of the film she marries him. How could she possibly marry this guy, I mean aside from being boring, dull, lacking any personality or heroic qualities, this guy has the blood of innocent woman and children on his hands, she knows this, but doesn’t care. This isn’t a small nitpick by any means, this is a huge problem that really damages the film, it’s worse than Jar Jar Binks, worse than the biological explanation of the force, it’s just plain terrible, and in my view is the absolute worst thing to ever happen in the Star Wars franchise. Although, for whatever it's worth, I've always loved that scene of Anakin riding off into the sunset on his bike, it looks great, the music is awesome, and it's always stuck with me as a small, but memorable little highlight.    

      

    So, with my least favorite scene of the film addressed, lets look at some smaller details that never made any sense to me. In the opening of the film, the hired Bounty Hunter Jango Fett hires a female assassin named Zam Wesell to complete a mission ... which he was probably capable of caring out himself, so why hire someone to do the job he's paid for? This female assassin is also a shape-shifter of sorts, but for some reason she never uses her powers. 

There's actually a cool set-up in which our heroes are in a night club looking for the assassin, who could be posing as anyone, but it never feels like an edgy cat and mouse game as we see her hiding in regular form the whole time. It just begs the question, why make her a change-ling if she never uses her abilities to disguise herself? It’s at least nice to see Jango’s space ship “Slave 1” in more combat scenes. That chase in the asteroid field was great, and takes full advantage of all the things that this ship can do. Boba Fett is also seen as a child, and the ending sets him on his path to become the armored villain that we’d recognize from the original trilogy, although I don't think we needed the backstory of him being a clone, and subsequently related to all the Clone Troopers.  

    

     At last, let’s talk about the big Climax, which I have to admit is pretty damn cool at first, then it starts to suck, but let’s go about this one step at time. 

Just like “The phantom Menace”, the climax is a combination of 4 separate battles, however, in a rare instance, these battles all happen in sequential order instead of bouncing around from one to the other. Things kick off on a high note in the Geonosis Battle Arena where our three hero’s have to fight savage monsters. In general, I always love seeing familiar things woven into the "Star Wars" universe, and thus, having the final battle staged in this Roman style Gladiator arena was an inspired decision. 

I also love the designs and effects of the creatures our hero's battle. They each have distinct sounds, it's cool how the light reflects off them in certain shots, and the CGI for these monsters has really held up over the years. I'll always prefer practical effects, but CGI is still an impressive technical achievement, and these monsters are a great example of the effect at it's best. Plus, our hero’s have no weapons, so they have to fight these monsters with ingenuity and force techniques, which is great. I like seeing Anakin use the force to calm the big Rhino beast, and even Padme drop-kicking that saber tooth cat was great. Then hundreds of Jedi enter the stadium, enemy droids are firing energy cannons, a massive battle is under way, and it’s nothing short of awesome. This is one of those cases where I'm admittedly not invested in any internal merits, but the spectacle is too much fun to ignore. Seeing all these Jedi go into battle is an absolute thrill, there’s a terrific variety of action going on, and it's something to savor as no other "Star Wars" climax features this many Jedi cleaning house.

    Once they leave the arena, we see that there’s an even bigger battle waging outside, with lots of war machines, armies going head to head, and at this point, I always find myself checking my watch wondering when they’ll wrap this up. 

Seriously, even though it’s a visual marvel, it just wears out its welcome and feels tired by this point. Also, for as over the top as things were in the arena, I at least had the sense that I was watching real people, and our heroes were consistently present. This larger scale desert battle by contrast just feels like one big special effect. Then everything wraps up with a light saber dual between our two hero’s and the villain, and it’s one of the most generic duels in the series. It's all set in this boring little hanger, I hate the way this was shot and edited, with slow motion close ups of the characters swinging their swords, murky lighting and very little excitement. There is some novelty in seeing Yoda kicking ass at the end, and it's a cool treat to see him confront a main villain. I like that this duel starts with Count Dooku utilizing different force Technics, but I truthfully wish it stopped there and left out the whole Yoda with a light-saber. The film then closes on a satisfying epilogue, that upon first viewing got me very excited for the next film. The Emperor makes a brief cameo highlighting how he's the one pulling the strings, our two forbidden lovers have a secret wedding, and Yoda delivers a chilling final line to close the film on. 

    In the end, I really want to love this movie, as it’s not without it's entertaining highlights, and it generally leaves me feeling happy I watched it. Unfortunately, no amount of action and special effects can change the fact that this is weaker film by "Star Wars" standards. The plot is repetitive, boring, and doesn't have it's own personality. The characters are either terrible or under developed, and the movie just makes one irritating mistake after another. This is undeniably one of the weakest entries in the series, but even at its worst, the film at least provides some excitement, and the third act leaves me exhilarated like any great entry in the series. I'm overall an easily guy to please when it comes to this franchise, and even though this is personally one of my least favorite films in the series, I think it's just barley salvageable for some viewings.

Thanks from reading my review of the 2002 franchise instalment "Star Wars 2: Attack of the Clones" ... and may the schwartz be with you!

  To Be Continued...