Snakes on a Plane (2006) (Movie Review)

    A few years ago, I dedicated an entire month to reviewing various B-Horror movies revolving around animals on the attack. Somehow, I forgot to include the 2006 movie “Snakes on a Plane”, which I’ll admit I haven’t thought much of sense I saw the premier back in 2006. Now, I’m itching to look back on this film, and see if anything has either aged well, or if it’s only gotten worse over time. I distinctly remember that the hype leading up to this movie was huge, and caused a lot of buzz on the internet. Samuel L. Jackson’s name was attached, the marketing was everywhere, the soundtrack was all over the radio, and then the movie finally premiered … and it turned out to be exactly as advertised … it takes place on a plane full of snakes. I’ll admit, I too was hyped for this movie, and I remember enjoying it fine, but it’s never really stuck with me … nor anyone really. It’s one of those events that initially generated a lot of interest, then quietly faded from memory.      

     So, how do we come to this crazy epidemic with snakes getting loose on a plain? Well, a local civilian witnesses a brutal murder instigated by an LA Crime Boss. Agent Neville Flynn is dispatched to escort the witness back to LA to testify in court. Instead of a private plane, our pair take flight aboard a First-Class passenger plane to throw-off the villains. Unfortunately, the criminals are some hundred steps ahead of our hero’s, and have smuggled a crate full of venomous snakes on board, which will get set loose at the half-way point, and bring down the plane before it reaches LA. To ensure the snakes attack the passengers without the need for being provoked, the crime boss has one of his henchmen disguised as an airport ground employee, spraying the passengers' leis with a special pheromone which makes the snakes highly aggressive, or as Jackson so colorfully puts it … snakes on crack. … Yeah …, logic got thrown out the window from the opening title card. In general, the film knows it’s just a dumb popcorn film, and it just goes all out with how crazy the situation gets.  

    It’s one of those movies that’s built on dumb-goofy highlights. There are snakes sporadically popping out of barf bags, slithering up a ladies clothing, and there’s even a snake exploding in a microwave. We have a naked couple attacked in bathroom, leading to an absurd snake biting nipple shot. 

There’s also this dummy who gets attacked while taking a leak, and apparently, he’s so absent minded, he didn’t even notice this massive snake swirling around in the toilet bowl. We also have that cliched gag of a woman digging through her bag all while something deadly is inside … only to build to a lame joke. Even the horror elements are just plain silly, but again, the film is self-aware, and just has a laugh with its “scary” content. One of my favorite gags is when the plane’s flight attendant looks for a doctor to help with the sick passengers, and wouldn’t you know … she just happens to find him still in his seat, and right on cue … a snake slithers right out of his mouth. Yeah, the thought of a snake entering a man’s body, and slithering right back out has me chuckling more then gasping. At last, the most absurd part of the whole film is when a giant man-eating python crashes through the roof … that’s right, the snakes getting on board was silly enough, but now there’s a giant, human devouring snake roaming about the plane. Just to make things funnier, this giant python actually roars … like it’s a crocodile or something.  

    Generally, the main attraction to a movie of this sort is always the animals that attack the humans, and in this case, it’s our crack-headed snakes. While the film thankfully gives us a wide variety between the different snakes on display, the effects used to bring them to life are really bad. I thought they looked cheap back in 2006, they’ve only gotten worse over time. 

Occasionally there will be a real snake on screen, or a puppet, but they only serve to highlight just how bad the CGI looks when compared to the real things. Now, I do like the idea of the snakes being drugged, as it adds a layer of excitement to them, but they're just a little too smart, as they know exactly what circuitry to attack, and what conduits to emerge from. One genuinely good thing I can say about this whole goofy set-up is that the situation is constantly building. The plane is complete with two levels, so it gives both the snakes and the passengers a lot of ground to cover. It also allows for more mayhem revolving around people either falling down stairs or crashing through glass windows. There’s a subplot in which Agent Flynn has to venture into a snake infested control room in an effort to get the AC going again, otherwise the passengers will consume all the air in the cabin. So, the film at least tries to build on the stakes.     

   Samuel L. Jackson as agent Flynn is another highlight of the film, and he almost makes up for the fact that … there really aren’t any other characters to cheer for in the movie. All the remaining passengers or crew members are either stereotypes or just plain annoying. 

Thankfully, Samuel L. Jackson still takes up the majority of the screen time, and he carries the film. The movie wasn’t even pitched with Jackson in mind, he actually volunteered for the role, and was quite passionate about the project. It’s very evident all through the film that Jackson knows what kind of film this is, and he’s just committing to it all the way. He’s also clearly having fun with this, especially when cracking his big fowl-mothed one-liners. Of course, I have to mention the censored version that aired on TV. I remember flipping through channels and landing on the film right when Jackson says his famous line, except this was the censored cut in which he says … “I have had it with these MONKEY BIGHTING SNAKES on this MONKEY BIGHTING PLANE!” That in a nut-shell was the funniest thing I ever got out of this whole movie. Just as a side note, while I didn’t care for the supporting players, I was still very pleased to see that all four of the black passengers made it out alive. Usually characters of an African American ethnicity never survive B-movies of this sort, so it was really cool to see that … not just one, but four make it out okay. Oh, and in the end, the one guy successfully lands the plane all in part to the hours he spent playing a video game on the PS2 … which is so dumb … I absolutely love it.

   As for the soundtrack … oh my gosh … this is really cheesy, and I can’t get enough of it. To say that these songs are dated just wouldn’t be selling it. Every one of these songs is under the misguided impression that it’s the mighty voice of a generation, that it’s something really cool, and something to be played at teen parties for years on end. 

The main “Snakes on a Plane (Bring It)” song performed by Cobra Starship is just the perfect example of how delightfully goofy this soundtrack gets. In the end, “Snakes on a Plane” is silly, cheesy, one-note … and a lot of fun for fans of the genera. It’s one of those movies that's worth watching at least once on a weakened if you have some down time, and after that, you never need to think about it again for as long as you live. I really don’t have too many problems with the movie overall, as I feel there’s always a place for B-movies of this sort. Again, I’ve only seen this film twice in my life-time, and that’s all it’s really good for. It provided a fun diversion, Samuel L. Jackson is in top form, and while the situation of being trapped on a plane is nothing new, this film at least did something completely unique with it. It’s a film that didn’t try to be anything more then a dumb, fun summer movie, and it’s just passable enough when taken into that context.    

Thanks for reading my review of the 2006 creature feature “Snakes on a Plane” … and continue to enjoy the movies you love.