Back when I was a little kid growing up in San Diego California, we had several options for places to visit for vacation, and Disneyland naturally was a favorite of ours to visit. Aside from the general entertainment of their attractions, I always loved how their rides seemed to take a life all their own, with their own original characters and stories to tell.
As a kid, it always sparked the idea that many of their rides could be
expanded in other forms of media … maybe even movies. Well … Disney studio
seemed to have the same thought as many of their rides and attractions have
received movie adaptions over the years. There are currently thirteen different
movies based on their theme park attractions, and I thought it would be fun to
rank each on my own personal scale, from my absolute favorite, to my least
favorite ... you got your tickets, let’s ride the rides.
#1 “Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl” (2003)
Probably not an unpopular opinion, but the first “Pirates of the Caribbean” is my absolute favorite of the Disney theme park ride inspired movies. While it wasn’t the first movie to be adapted from a Disney Theme Park ride, it is unmistakably the film that made a trend of it. For me, the film has absolutely held-up over the years as a consistently re-watchable piece of entertainment, and it’s still one of my favorites of adventure cinema. Truthfully, the first film is all I really needed to get my fix of high-sailing adventures at sea with this fantastic cast of memorable characters.
Rather than being confined to
the lore of the ride, the film created its own memorable characters and
creative backstories. The performances are larger than life, the music
riveting, the battles exciting, the effects eye-popping, and it stands as a
great reminder for Hollywood to take ambitious risks when coming up with new
ideas. If you feel that “Pirates of the Caribbean” lost its flair due to
an overabundance of sequels, I’d still encourage you to look back at the first,
as it still holds-up as a refreshing escape from what Hollywood traditionally
produces.
#2 “Haunted Mansion” (2023)
I’ve loved the Disney-Land "Haunted Mansion" ride my whole life, it’s probably my favorite, and by extent, I’ve always enjoyed the expanded universe of the rides setting. As such, I’m always open for a new movie or special based around the attraction. While this latest version was no “Pirates of the Caribbean”, I felt it put in the extra effort to be a good movie, balancing it’s fun, goofy and spooky nature with mature themes of facing loss, grief, and a lead performance that was honestly better than this film deserved.
In general, there are better spooky family films, but this one
still did its job, and made for a decent adaption of my favorite theme-park
attraction. Needless to say, all the creatively fun haunts were there, the cast
was great, and it may not be on the same high-bar of the attraction … but this
was still a fun ride in its own right, and worth riding again when Halloween
comes around.
#3 “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest” (2006)
The first and best of the “Pirates of the Caribbean” sequels. While I would have been content with the first movie by itself, I’m certainly glad I have “Dead Man’s Chest” to look back on. This is the one that best captured the spirit of the first, all while expanding the mythology of the setting, and delivering some of the best action ... including the best sword fight of the whole series.
While hindered by a cliff-hanger ending, and set-up for more sequels,
this film has its strong points, with Davey Jones being the best villain, another rousing score, fine action, effects that still impress today, and it had the
courage to go outside the comfort zone of family friendly material. Seriously,
you’ll probably never see a Disney movie this dark and violent released these days.
It’s not a perfect sequel, but a good one all the same.
#4 “Tower of Terror” (1997)
Here it is, the very first movie to be based on a Disney theme-park ride, and it’s still one of my favorites of the line-up. That’s not to say it’s any kind of masterpiece, but it’s certainly better than it had any right to be, and despite being a TV production, I still feel it’s a stronger effort then the majority of their theme park adaptions. It’s also refreshingly subtle in its approach, relying on mood and a charming personality over big spectacles. In general, the spooky themed, made for TV Disney movies of the early days had a distinct appeal … and even a little edge … that I just feel is missing from what they produce now days.
“Tower of Terror” has its dark elements, even subtle creepy touches, but it’s still appealing for a whole family to sit-down and watch together. If you’re a genera fan of these family friendly Halloween films, that retain just enough of a dark tone, then be sure to give this one a watch. It won’t knock your socks off, but you might just find it a welcome little experience to go with the season.
#5 “Tomorrowland” (2015)
Of all the Disney theme-park adapted films, this one probably feels the most like experiencing a ride … right down to "Disneyland" being a setting in the film … with “Small World” making a surprise appearance. This is a special case in which a film has a branded IP, but it comes off feeling like something original, and with its own special voice.
While the narrative is a
little rocky, the film is loaded with imaginative ideas, stunning imagery, and
some solid performances, with Raffey Cassidy’s portrayal of the little Robot
Girl Athena being a real stand-out. Again, it’s not a perfect film, but I find
this one of the more underrated Sci-Fi offerings of the two-thousand-teens. For
me, it mostly holds-up, and is well worth giving a chance.
#6 “The Haunted Mansion” (2003)
I’m sure most fans would rank this one lower, if not rock bottom … but I have some fondness reserved for this one. I certainly have the childhood nostalgia for it, and for a long time, this was the only movie adaption I had of my favorite Disney theme-Park attraction. Call it a guilty pleasure, but for what it is, it’s not completely devoid of spooky charms that get me in the mood for the Halloween season.
It also looks great, the colors
are nice, and it makes for fine comfort food. Having said that, “The Haunted
Mansion” theme park ride certainly deserved a better adaption than this, and it’s not one I can really
recommend. It still has its special place on my ranking, but I understand why
most would dismiss it.
#7 “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End” (2007)
Third in the “Pirates” franchise, and for me, it’s the moment when this series sailed off-course. This is when the plots got needlessly complicated, the tone was more draining and darker than fun, the nasty imagery got excessive, the hummer was predictable, the characters themselves got repetitive with their gimmicks, and the fresh excitement just wasn’t there anymore.
All that being said, this third film at least
had its bright spots, including another great soundtrack, a memorable final battle, and
even some atmospheric highlights. While it was a drop-down for the series, it
at least wasn’t at rock bottom yet.
#8 “Jungle Cruise” (2021)
I genuinely had high hopes for a Disney movie based on their famous "Jungle Cruise" attraction, and the marketing seemed to harken back to classic adventure pictures, in which escapist fun is the name of the game. Dwayne Johnson and Emilly Blunt are also both very charming leads, and the film was off to a decent start, with its own distinct personality.
Unfortunately, at
some point, the film takes on a new identity as a hand-me-down “Pirates of
Caribbean”, and the novelty just kept going downhill. While not a terrible
outing, and admittedly on a higher level of quality than some of the previously
mentioned films, this jungle adventure sadly just didn’t float my boat.
#9 “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides” (2011)
There are two novelties brought to this franchise thanks to this fourth outing, one of them being a very charismatic Penelope Cruz as an estranged lover for Captain Jack, and the other being attractive mermaids who are also ravage killers … which this series was long overdue for featuring.
Everything else in the film is regretfully very one-note, and devoid of the energy and charm that initially sparked this franchise. It's a shame because Captain Jack on different adventures and meeting new characters is what I wanted for this series moving forward, but the payoff just wasn't there. For me, everything from the action to the effects, to the story, and even the characters just felt tired and been done.
#10 “Mission to Mars” (2000)
One of the earliest Disney ride adaptations, with high ambitions, and first-rate visual effects on display. Seriously, for a movie that came out in the year 2000, this film is still a marvel to look at, and even looks better than some of the other films I’ve already mentioned on this list. Sadly, effects alone don’t make for a great viewing experience. Little things like memorable characters and an engaging narrative especially matter ... which this movie sadly lacks.
The film also takes
clear inspiration from hit movies like “Apollo 13” and “2001: A Space
Odyssey”, and its efforts at creating a sense of euphoric wonder are
admirable, but the final execution is more derivative of those movies than
inspiring. The characters are likewise interchangeable, the pacing
inconsistent, and for all the films ambitious beats, it failed to stick any
kind of successful landing.
#11 “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales” (2017)
Oh boy … three was already enough for a franchise that was overstaying it’s welcome … at five movies, it’s officially one pirate voyage too many. The effects look cheaper, the villains are repetitive, the performances are lifeless, the jokes are groaners, and even the spectacle is more exhausting than thrilling.
At the very
least, the film had a decent ending, with a set-piece involving the staff of
Poseidon, and an ending that left me feeling somewhat satisfied. While nothing
in this film flat-out ruined the series, it was just another forgettable outing
with no staying power.
#12 “Mr. Toad's Wild Ride” (1997)
Originally released in the United Kingdom as “The Wind in the Willows” in 1996, Disney purchased the distribution rights when it came to the United States the following year of 97, and changed the title to match their theme park attraction. As such, this film really doesn’t belong on my list, but sense it bears the name of the ride, I might as well include it.
While not devoid of some charm … and featuring a top-tear villain song number called
“Secret of Survival” … this movie didn’t
really click with me. It’s certainly a picture for acquired tastes, as I can see
some viewers won over by the film’s unique personality, but for me, it was just
a little too over the top, a little too odd, and never quiet lived-up to its
title … or re-title in this case.
#13 “The Country Bears” (2002)
Even back when I was a little kid obsessed with Disneyland, “The Country Bear Jamboree” was never a favorite of mine, and frequently skipped over during visits. As such, a movie based on the attraction was already going to be low-hanging fruit. That being said, I will give this movie some credit, including consistent use of practical puppets and animatronics during an age of CGI.
Also, an unhinged Christopher Walken as the villain is always welcome, and even some decent jokes help provide some enjoyment. Still, “The Country Bears” is unmistakably my least favorite of all the Disney movies based on their theme park attractions, and the one I just wouldn’t recommend getting tickets for. Between all the high-marks, and low marks of these theme-park-based movies ... I'm still open to whatever may come next ... some may have been better left as rides, while others have proven worthwhile movies all their own. I'll always have fondness for ThemeParks ... by extent, their rides ... and there's always a novelty of sorts in seeing one brought to life on the big screen.
Thanks for reading my countdown … and continue to enjoy the movies you Love!
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