While the title of the movie is “King Kong Lives”, this is when the franchise died, and stayed dead for nearly twenty years. With a perfect round 0% on Rotten Tomatoes, and Siskel and Ebert giving the film their lowest possible grade, it’s safe to say that this is the weakest venture in King Kong’s movie line up. Actually, that doesn’t even begin to cover it, as this film has all but disappeared. It’s challenging to find on digital, home video releases are limited, TV stations rarely air it … it’s basically become a ghost-movie in a mega franchise, and it’s only through the advent of the internet that it’s been preserved. This 1986 Kong film was the long-delayed sequel to the 1976 “King Kong” remake, and had John Guillermin return as director. Is there any merit to the film, or is it best left forgotten and buried … it’s really not a hard question.
The movie begins with a lengthy recap of
the ending of the last movie, in which Kong was gunned down by helicopters, had
more bloody holes then swiss-chess, and fell from the very top of the World
Trade Center. As the title would suggest, he survived all that, and the movie
picks up with him in a coma under the watchful eye of a band of scientists.
It’s ludicrous enough that Kong pulled though all that, but what’s even more
baffling is the money and resources these people are putting into keeping Kong
alive.
They have him hooked to all these life support machines, which are
draining power, and there’s an expensive operation in which Kong’s heart has to
be replaced with a giant ape sized artificial heart. Despite all their efforts,
he’s lost too much blood and needs a transfusion. As if right on que, another
giant ape is discovered … which by the way is a hilarious reveal, as it’s
clearly just a fake robot ape hand moving through the brush. Anyway, this new
ape is captured and brought in for the transfusion, but there’s a catch. This
ape is a female … yeah, a lady Kong, or Queen Kong. This gets the ape King very
excited, and the second he gets the chance, he escapes the facility, rescues
female Kong, and the two escape into the wilderness. Somehow after all the
funding, time and resources dedicated to keeping Kong alive, this escape alone
is all it takes to provoke the military to hunt them down and kill them both. Oh,
and the troops are being led by an obnoxious bad guy … what more would you
expect.
As one can tell by the synopsis, the
plot is ridiculous, nonsensical, and we still haven’t gotten to the biggest
problems with this movie. The human characters are all disposable, and the
villains are ridiculous. It is however worth noting that our female lead named Dr.
Amy Franklin is played by Linda Hamilton … the same talent who played Sarah
Connor in "The Terminator" film series. While her presence is welcome, she’s
unfortunately given nothing to work with, as she’s the one female lead in this
franchise that doesn’t make any kind of personal connection with King Kong.
It’s also one of those cases where the actors seem to know they’re in a
one-note production, and couldn’t possibly bring any life to the film.
Honestly, beyond the week characters, and the hamstrung plot … this film is
just … plain … boring … boring … BORING!!! Now rubber suited monster movies are
an acquired taste, and I’m one of those guys who once in a while can have a lot
of fun with cheesy genera monster movies. This film unfortunately just drags
itself around, and doesn’t generate a sense of excitement or adventure. There’s
also a noticeable lack of monster brawls, which is a staple of the franchise.
Part of the excitement of going into a King Kong movie is seeing him throw down
with dinosaurs or other monsters, but not here.
Kong himself is less interesting, as I
always viewed him as a tragic figure who can never get together with a girl he
developed feelings for, but this time … all is well with his convenient giant
female ape companion. I’ll give the movie some credit for attempting visual
storytelling, as there’s lengthy scenes with no dialog or human characters, and
it’s just these two apes communicating through body language. Yes, the effort
is appreciated, but it will not be rewarded in the long run, as it’s still
really boring to watch a relationship between two obvious actors in gorilla
costumes. There’s also something cringe about the presentation of this, as
possible good ideas on paper just look silly on screen. I honestly don’t think
I’ve seen anything more ridiculous in a monster movie then this one image of
King Kong walking off into the distance with female Kong in his arms ... it’s
so silly. The costumes themselves are decent enough, and I do love seeing
practical effects, so there’s something to savor from the visuals before this
style all but disappeared. There are at least some surprisingly violent moments
that stand out as cool little nuggets. There’s a scene when he chases two bad
guys in a cannon, he bites one of their heads right off, and the other guy gets
it worse as Kong snaps the guy in half … it’s kind of brutal.
The military eventually catch-up to the
pair, capture female Kong once again, and use her as a means to bate King Kong
out into an open field for a final showdown. Typically, these battles are set
in the city, and we feel the troops have no choice but to take action and fight
while also protecting the civilians. This time however, Kong was just
peacefully enjoying his freedom with his new mate, so it feels completely
needless for the troops to gun him down. Having said that, the climax is the
one highlight of the movie, as Kong engages the troops, swats the vehicles, and
I love when he picks up the tanks and smashes them into the ground ... it’s fun
stuff. Unfortunately, the whole battle is resolved in less than two minutes. Considering
how long, boring and drawn-out the film had been, you’d think they’d give us a
final battle that’s longer than two minutes. While Kong is successful in
beating the army, he unfortunately got showered in pullets, and is slowly
dying. The last thing he see's is the birth of little Baby Kong … that’s
right, Kong became a dad in this film. You’d think that a movie called “King Kong
Lives” would let the mighty ape take a holiday for once and just subtle with
his mate and kid, but no … he dies yet again … even though he apparently
survived a plummet from the World Trade Center in the last movie.
To call this the weakest installment in
the “King Kong” franchise is a gross understatement … this movie is an
embarrassment, and shouldn’t even be associated with such a high-profile
monster. I’ll say this, if your just in a mood for King Kong, and want to see a
older, rubber suited film, then “King Kong Lives” just barley provides enough
to satisfy. Personally, it’s my least favorite of the series by far, and is
largely just a forgettable experience. With goofy villains, a brainless plot,
cringe visuals, stock characters, little excitement, a handful of action, and
no real justification to exist after a ten-year hiatus … this is the one Kong
venture that is very safe to skip.
Thanks for reading my review of the 1986 sequel “King Kong Lives” … and continue to enjoy the movies you Love!
End
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